Teenage is a time when your baby is looking for an adult identity and you’re having a hard time letting go. So, this is sure to be a turbulent time for both of you! Most often, this gap leads to conflicts and communication problems that leaves many parents wondering how their child changed so much so soon.

A teenager views these gaps differently. They think their parents don’t understand them anymore and this could lead to emotional problems such as loneliness and maybe even depression, if not addressed right away. A good tool to bridge these gaps is communication. But, you’ll have to use the right communication tools and strategies to connect with your teen.

Before going into these strategies, let’s quickly delve into the mind of a typical teenager. This teenager wants to project that he or she is an adult and is perfectly capable of living an independent life, but deep down they’re still children craving for parental love and support. Confused as they are, it is up to us as parents to understand them and give them the right support at the right time.

One of the key aspects of expressing your support is communication. You need to be able to strike the right chord with your teenage son or daughter to have a good relationship with them and even to understand what they are going through.

First off, let’s see what are the issues that impede communication between a parent and a teen.

Here are some common mistakes that we tend to make as parents:

• We either expect our child to be independent too soon or we treat them like a baby forever. Both are bad in its own way. In the first case, your expectations can put a lot of pressure, especially when they are not yet ready for it. On the other hand, when you treat them like a baby, it annoys them.
• We want our teen to be just like us, in the way they think and act. Often, we tend to compare our teen years with theirs. But unfortunately, there is no parallel because they’re living in a different environment with different stimuli and social pressures than us.
• Parents tend to be either over-protective without giving your child a chance to learn or criticize them for their actions. Both these behavior can make a teenager cringe.
• When our children enter into their teens, we’re also getting old. During this phase of our life, we may undergo several problems ranging from financial pressure to health issues. Taking them on your teenage son or daughter can rupture relationships.
• Now that we understand our mistakes, let’s address them and see how we can communicate more effectively with our teens.

Here are some things you can do to reach out to your teens and improve your relationship with them:

• Understand that this phase if difficult and challenging for them. Their hormones are all over the place and they are desperately trying to fit into an adult world for which they are not ready. It’s definitely not easy being a teen, so give them your maximum support.
• Celebrate your son or daughter because they are unique in their own way. They may not be their class toppers or the winners of every other competition that happens, but still they are unique and deserve your love and appreciation.
• Have an open mind because your teenager’s view point may not reflect your thoughts. That’s part of what makes them unique, so learn to accept the difference instead of comparing them with you and your teen years.
• Move away from advise, as that’s something that none of us like. Switch to a discussion mode where you talk any issue with your teen and come to a solution that’s acceptable to both of you. For example, if you want your teenager to be back home at a certain time every night, discuss it with them like how you would with another adult.
• It’s never a good idea to interfere with your teen’s activities or restrict them in a big way, unless you think it’s detrimental to their health and safety. Allow them to explore their space.
• Listen more than you speak because when you don’t talk much, you’re giving them a chance to open up and talk. Remember, we have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more.
• Make it a point to spend some time together every day. It could be at the breakfast or dinner table or anywhere else that works best for both of you.
• Go out of the way to show your unconditional love for your teen and to remind them that you’re there always.
• Allow them to make mistakes, so they learn. Of course, they can make mistakes provided it doesn’t affect their safety in any way.
• Keep up with the trend. Follow the latest music and artists, video games or whatever else interests your child, so you have common things to talk about.
• Negotiate with your teen on what’s right and wrong without yelling, screaming or nagging.

We hope the above tips help you to forge a strong and loving bond with your teen.