I vividly remember , 17 years back when cell phones were just making an entry into our lives, I was driving down a busy road in Chennai and a child all of 13 or 14, talking on his mobile and oblivious to his surroundings, walked right into my car. That was the first time I had seen a child talking on a mobile while walking on the road. It was a miracle that he didn’t get injured. Of course, I thanked my stars for the crowded road and my instinct to apply brake just in time. Back then no one would have predicted the 24*7 connectivity, thanks to the ubiquitous internet and the multiple issues associated with it.Add to that the human tendency of trying to be smarter by investing in smart phones and it’s not surprising to see children as young as 4 or 5 happily engaged with their parents’ mobiles. With the technology dominating our lives it’s not uncommon to see family members seated together in the living room, each one busy staring at their own device. The device addiction, thanks to the internet is a reality that cannot and should not be ignored.
Recently we conducted a small survey among parents of teenagers about the issues that bother them the most and not surprisingly, device addiction topped the list.
Understanding the Mobile Addiction
Traditionally the term “addiction” was used for smoking or substance abuse. The mobile/device addiction is a fairly recent phenomenon. Children are handed over all kinds of devices like mobiles, game consoles, laptop etc at a very early and vulnerable age making them more susceptible to device addiction. The quick fire spread of smart phone has only managed to make the matter worse since the smart phone features provide access to various apps, games and more importantly social media. Social media keeps the teens engaged with virtual friends by posting picture, sharing music and videos always looking for instant gratification through “likes” and “comments”.
Research has shown that our brain reacts to the cell phone in the same way as it would to drugs. The ringing of the phone or notifications triggers the release of a chemical “Dopamine” (which is the same chemical which is released when any drug is consumed) resulting in the addiction. According to a recent research conducted by Lilavathy Hospital, Mumbai, about 50 percent of children or teenagers are prone to spinal problems due to high usage of mobile phones. Now we also know that human brain development is unfinished till 25 years of age. Therefore, if a teenage brain is addicted to a device there could be serious implications, both behavioural and neural.
What Parents Should Look For
Some of the negative personality traits associated with device addiction in children, that parents would do well to watch out for are:
- Low self-esteem in the child
- Child seems to be pessimistic, looks worried, fearful and shy
- Tries to resist social activities or helping others
- Avoidance of social situations leading to social loneliness
- Some more noticeable symptoms are:
- Poor diet/ not enjoying the food/trying to finish the food in a hurry
- Irritation on minute things
- Less/ no smiles
- Change in sleep patterns
- Decline in interest in activities that they enjoyed before
- Distracted/ less attention
- Neglecting normal routine activities like daily chores, cleaning the study table , * packing the school bag etc since constantly on phone
- Irritation/ anxious if there is no internet
- Repeatedly checking the mobile for vibration/ notifications
- No interest in social interaction or activities
- Low or no interest in studies A child could show a few or many of these symptoms. But parents need not feel helpless. There is a lot that can be done to help the teenagers get out of the addiction.
What can Parents do?
Talk to the teen as friend. Share your concerns without overtly telling him you are worried about his addiction. Refrain from showing any kneejerk reaction like snatching the phone away or disconnecting the internet. Believe us when we say, these reactive measures do not work. The kids are smart enough to find other ways of being online. Be a positive example yourself. To change the child, first change yourself. If you check your mobile first thing in the morning after waking up, you can’t expect your child not to do it.
Setting some rules for the family (of course, including yourself) helps as well. Say for example, no mobiles on the dining table or no mobiles after 9pm.Children who are allowed to keep the mobile on the bed or in their room at bed time are more likely to get addicted. No mobiles in the bed room could be another rule.Having a limited internet data plan helps. If it’s over, it’s over. No top up.Resist buying a mobile for the child till it is unavoidable. In India a child needs a phone only when he has to go to various classes on his own.Set limits on the time spent on usage. Some parents set it as, no mobile after 6.30, which is the time the child needs to study. If at all the child needs the phone to contact a friend for help with studies, she can use the parents’ phone. This also ensures sustained focus on studies in the evening hours.Give them the choice of usage time. Say before 6.30 for one hour or after 9 for an hour. Giving them choice makes them feel more independent and it’s easier to make them stick to the decision.Invite the child’s friends to your home on a regular basis. When in a group children normally don’t stare continuously at their mobiles. They devise ways to keep themselves entertained. Encourage them to play board games which can also be fun if played in a group.Encourage the child to get involved in some outdoor activities. Here again you need to take the lead. Going for an evening walk or a stroll after dinner is a great idea. The bonding time thus spent could be an added bonus.Plan family outings with the rule being no mobile to be used other than for emergency calls.
These are some of the tried and tested methods to get over mobile addiction. But if you find the situation is out of control and these steps just don’t help, you should not hesitate to speak to an adolescent behaviour specialist.
